Probably the healthiest granola recipe ever..

Granola is so yummy, and a nice transitional food for the accustomed morning cereal eater, as it is a food that can be prepared simply and eaten with milk. However, the downside of granola, is that it is often made with refined oils, concentrated sweeteners, rancid nuts and seeds, hot spices, and generally just kinda heavy, greasy and overly sweet. What is the solution? Make your OWN with good ingredients! Here’s how I do mine:

- DRY pan toast some almonds and pumpkin seeds until aromatic (do NOT burn!)
- Add some oat flakes and stir quickly – not too much toasting time for these guys. If they are over-heated, it will not be good for your liver or heat condition, and generally not recommended.
- Chop in some fruit, like apple slices, or stir in some blueberries. The fruit may sweat and add moisture to the dish, but if it doesn’t, add a TINY bit of water, or better yet, a little bit of orange juice (fresh squeezed is best).
- I usually stop cooking at this point, even before the fruit usually, and put it into a bowl, however you can add spices and continue baking it for a little time to make it more warming.
- Add spices like cardamom, green stevia, nutmeg, etc, but cinnamon tends to be too hot, and if eaten before bed can cause things like night sweats, or worsen inflammation, etc.
- I put the warm granola into my bowl, (this is where I add the OJ, fruit and spices actually), and then pour over a little flax or hemp oil to give it some richness and greasiness.
- I was a little extra hungry, so I broke up some brown rice cake into as well and stirred it.
- I was also gifted a little dark chocolate, so I chopped that up and stirred it in as well too!
- Since I make my own goat kefir, which is really my only animal product, I topped it off with that, or I might add a little homemade almond milk with it as well.
NO sweeteners, refined or cooked oils, no salt, no flours, no junky nuts, and all fresh! YUM!

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Chocolate Pudding of my Gods

Chocolate pudding like I’ve never tasted before.
Add these fine things into a blender or mixer, or something that whizzes things about:
  • cocoa powder (I used a “ruddy red” that was super dark.. so good)
  • maple syrup
  • soft tofu for a pudding, (or soft avocados if you want it thicker like mousse)
  • vanilla
  • whiskey or rum
That’s it! Heaven in a bowl!
Sorry for no quantities.. that’s just not how I cook. Try making it yourself and then adding more or less of something if you think it needs it!

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Goose Poop Sandwich

Doesn’t this look like s#!+?

Well, it’s home-made, and I know what you’re thinking. I don’t own any geese, or wild animals for that matter. This treat does looks weird… but I guess, yeah, it was weird – but pretty good!!
So I was in the mood for bitter and building. Why bitter? It reduces things, or at least gives it a descending nature, and I wanted something to bring me down a notch and solidify my base. So this I did.
What did I do to create this messy snack food that I need not worry about running to the patent office with due to its gastly appearance?
First I ground up some almonds (let’s pretend they were soaked and then drained/dried, as I usually do, but I actually forgot in this case), along with.. well heck, I’ll just write down the recipe for you:
Grind in a magic bullet/mini-mill thingy
-almonds
-black sesame seeds
-raw cacao nibs
-flax seeds (brown ones)
-spirulina
-goat colostrum… yep, threw that in there to make it a “SUPER FOOD”.. colostrum is my new superfood, I don’t think science has got a whiff of it yet, and so I’m glad so it’s not abused and on every product in the health section of the grocery store.. like acai… that word makes me gag due to it’s over-popularity.. it’s a berry for crying out loud!! It’s not gold.. anyways, I digress..
Blend that super fibery weird mess in the mill until it’s pasty. Add:
-flax oil
-molasses (all I had on hand, not by choice, otherwise I would’ve used yacon)
-drop of goat milk to make it a little liquidy
Blend again (put this time it will be buttery and mushy)
Dollop the goop out onto a rice cake or something not-bitter (that would just overload the bitter senses of your tongue) and prepare for some building and grounding. It would actually make a lovely Yin tonic for women just after, or during their menses. The black colour in food magically replenishes blood and gives us some support during this time.
Also, don’t forget that I made this whole thing up (like alot of things), so if you want to play with it, try anything. Just grind up stuff, add some oil, .. and spices go nicely too, like cinnamon,.. eh voila!!  Goose poop.

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Poo Balls


Eat these and then poo them out.

1/2 cup sesame seeds
1/3 cup honey or yacon
2 Tbsp raw sunflower seeds
2 Tbsp tahini or almond butter
1/2 cup ground flax
1/8 tsp salt
1/2 cup unsweetened shredded coconut, plus more for garnish
1 tsp vanilla
1-2 Tbsp carob or cocoa powder

Pulse sunflower seeds in a blender or food processor into a rough powder. Combine all ingredients into a stiff and slightly crumbly dough. Press into balls and roll in the extra shredded coconut. Eat em and poop em out!

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Ginger Almond Chocolate Granny



A Christmas present for the fam, granola appeals to all tastes and looks beautiful presented in glass jars.

This recipe was improvised (like always) but here was the basis of it:
6 cups oat flakes
1 cup almonds
3/4 cup sweetener (various is OK)
1/2 cup unrefined oil (I’d go with sesame)
1 tsp each cinnamon, cardamom, dried ginger
1/8 cup sesame seeds
choco chips or nibs as you like ‘em!
a bit of sea salt
Combine the flakes, nuts and seeds. Heat in a saucepan the oils, sweeteners and spices until smooth and even. Fold the wet into the dry and spread out onto baking sheets. Bake for 30 minutes at 325F and stir every 10 or so. Cool and jar! Yum!

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